Dear Friends, This is somewhat strange, but in this, the most beautiful time of the year, I often have more down than up days, My confession, I’m a grandmother, and I have suffered from depression, and if some of you want to hear about how environmental issues play a role in depression, then I recommend that you go to Amazon or Kindle, and get yourself a copy of, “Pinkhoneysuckle,” by Barbara Everett Heintz, for you will never forget it plus in May, it already has two radio shows and a television spot with the author, me…//Depression is so insidious, but why does it drop like a bomb now? I think that when we were younger, our minds kept endeavoring to move us to a better spot — at home, or some place within, and when you are older like me you knew life would change, familiar faces would disappear for a while, then as an adult, all of the sudden it was child entertainment time. An old Bill Cosby show I’ll always remember was about the joys of September and the kids going back to school, and I will never forget that program and the truth which it shared. For a few hours, one got to be human, maybe even slipping in a cuddle with one’s husband in my case.

I cannot not take pharmaceuticals, for if I stop my anti-depression med, then a few days or weeks later, I am sobbing, feeling grief so overwhelming that I am ashamed of, for I have so many gifts. This makes me feel like a pathetic in-grate, and from there it sinks lower. Three days after one starts taking anti-depressants, one feels better, then in three months; we feel as if we have licked the horrible brain chemistry behind it, but then one day, you feel the old enemy creeping in.

The truth is no one is happy all of the time, so sometimes those meds just are not able to deal with the fact we are more down than usual. Depression is a strange gift, for we are usually more creative during these times whether we are writers or artist or musicians, and that has remained true throughout history.

I have no good suggestions other than that if it gets really bad, then call your physician, for you may need a new med, or in some cases an adjunct, but in most cases, if you can just get through about a three day period, the worst begins to wear off of the down days. I am not just saying all of this as a patient, but my background is health care, so I will only share what is true for me in hopes that you will benefit from it.

Make something you can look forward to, such as a trip, shopping, going to a salon, or I used to like to plan parties, for going to so much trouble — I would forget about some of the things which were hurting me. I am now old enough to say that it is way harder when we are older to pull ourselves out of the dungeon of depression, so those of us who believe talk to God a lot more,  We pray for those who have less than we, for the sick, and for the wounded of heart.

If you fall somewhat in this category, just remember to pray for yourself as well.  I used to think immediate happiness was a Graeters turtle Sunday, then the years saw the weight packing on.  I will end this by just saying that, if you have any tips; Lay them out for the rest of us, but the turtle Sundays left me over weight, and that breaks my heart, so I will just leave it at do something special for you, then do something for someone else, and the kindness you do may spread like a flame.  God bless you and keep you.  Walk toward the light of all that is from God and fear no Evil, for none of us are immune from darkness, but to do our best to live in the light and love of God seems to be our refuge.  How can I say that after The Boston Bombers or the Holocaust in Waco?  Evil is the horrible and ever present force a loving God endeavors to protect us from, but in the end of it — God are all of the people of Boston who came to help, those who build the memorials, give their all to the families, and stand before a pathetic congress to witness how their children died at Sandy Hook.  There is God, and God is the clothing, the warm blankets, the food, and the water on the fire which finally tamed the flames.  Evil is so merciless, while the gifts of God are beyond measure.  I can go on, no matter how much I have been hurt knowing these things.

Thank you so much, Barbara Everett Heintz, Author of, “Pinkhoneysuckle,” on Amazon, Kindle, and Create Space and This Xanga Blog