January 24, 2013
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Doing
I've been a real downer lately and I'm sorry for that. But you know what, I don't have to be a downer and I don't want to be one anymore. It's so easy to get all wrapped up over something and fail to see the other, awesome, good, and funny things going on around you. I fall into that trap far too easy, especially around this time of year. Although fall/winter are my favourite seasons, I can't deny that they don't have some adverse affect on me depression wise. As much as I love weeks of rain on end without a glimpse of the sun, I do notice that the damper that it is outside, the damper my face becomes.
I may be a walking example of Murphy's Law but at least that's not all I am (although to some people that's all they see). My life is a weird deck of cards that is more often than not stacked against my sanity, and getting constantly reshuffled so just when I think I've been slick with my card counting, the tables turn, and I go broke. I'm learning to just go with it. Living day to day isn't so bad when you have a lot of little things to look forward to and work towards.I think my biggest problem is a feel, stagnant. I'll be 24 on Saturday, and I feel like I don't have much to show for it. But that simply is not true. I've done a lot. I've accomplished a lot. I've survived a shit ton. My boyfriend told me this morning he can't wait for Saturday to celebrate another year that I've survived (and I owe a lot of thanks to him for that). Sure, I don't have a Master's degree, but I have a job that pays the bills. That's more than most of my friends who do have degrees have right now. I live in a nice'ish townhouse in the ghetto that I love. It's located in THE most convenient location in this entire city. I can be anywhere worth going in about 5-10 minutes and that is pretty awesome and great for my gas budget. I've got my best friend in the world as my boyfriend/personal chef/slave etc
This is going to be my year of DOING. I'm not going to let the natural disaster that is my life prevent me from doing the things I've been wanting to do. I don't want to let stuff get me so bogged down anymore that all I do is sit around and do nothing out of fear of something else going wrong. I can't hide forever, and I don't want to look back at my life and just see all the stuff I *didn't* do. I want to look back and smile at all the memories of the awesome things I've done.
So here's to another year of being a clueless half-grown up person thing, and here's to my year of DOING.
Also if anyone wants to get me a cake with this picture on it, you are more than welcome to. It would make my life.
Comments (6)
Oh you can do it all.
Happy early birthday!
Hi, Meg,
I did not finish college until I was 30 and started my career late--it was a very good career. I married my high school girl friend and she has been of visiting great grand daughters.
24 is really young and you are educating yourself.
You live in a great place with things to do close a hand.
I like your determination to make 2013 the year of doing.
frank
No worries. It took me 6 years to just get a Bachelor's degree. I was 24 a year and a half ago... and the way that I think about it, it's a nice number. Not quite a quarter century like I am currently am, but still young and still a lot of time to get things done that you want. It's funny because today, I was pretty down still. But, I soon realized that I didn't have to be, just like you are thinking now. I decided the accept what has happened in my life, and to accept that the past can no longer be changed. Instead, I'll have to shape my present and future, because that's what matters now. Know that you are full of potential and you can do anything if you have the drive.
Happy early birthday!
@jennylovve - Thank you! I'm certainly going to give all I've got this year to accomplish my goals!
@HUMOR_ME_NOW - Thank you so much, it's encouraging to know that I'm not the only one who has to take time to get things done. It's been too easy for me to compare myself to my friends my age who have graduated and even gone on to their Master's degree, but on the flip side, I've gone through a ton of life experiences that they haven't even gotten to yet because they were in school. I'm happy that I've achieved independence and have started to make a life for myself and that I'm not in debt!
@laytexduckie - I finally got my Associates degree this year after 4 years, I was really proud of myself because there was a lot going on in my life during those 4 years (parent's divorce, mother had brain cancer, mother remarried, I joined the military went to BMT but was discharged after I got a migraine and spent 3 months in med hold because they kept screwing up my paperwork, the list really goes on and on) and I was still able to pull through and graduate with honors.
@forever_musing - Glad that you were able to finish your Associates. As long as you have the drive and never give up on yourself (no matter the hardships), things will work out. Keep going, and beat the odds.
sounds as if you're doing very well from here. sorry to hear about your mother. she's in remission? also, how's that stomach pain? although i haven't read the comments for that post yet, it seems as if you poasted on it and then NO MOAR REPORTZ. finally, waitaminute....slave?