January 18, 2013

• I swear there is never a dull moment in my life.

  Today, I went and saw my general practitioner after having intense abdominal pain for about 27 hours. I mean horrific pain. I've been having this issue on and off for the past 2 weeks or so, having intense pain after eating certain foods, but the worst was Wednesday night after I ate a piece of pizza. I thought I was likely to die. At first I thought maybe the Lactaid I take before eating dairy didn't work, so I took another. Didn't help. I thought maybe it was heartburn so I took some Tums, that didn't help either. In a last ditch effort I took some Gas-X because that was the only thing left in the house that could've helped. Nothing. The pain didn't subside until about midnight last night, 27 hours after eating the pizza. The pain never moved either like I expected it too if it was something I ate that made it upset but the stabbing pain remained the entire time right under my ribcage on the right side of my abdomen.
  I already had a notion going in that it might be my gallbladder. Gallbladder problems run in my family, and I've had trouble with it before, but wasn't "bad enough" to take out back in 2008 when I was also diagnosed with Gastroparesis (basically, my stomach is paralyzed which is weird because that is something that usually only happens to diabetics or obese people. I am neither of those things which baffles everyone).

  I'll admit, I'm nervous and scared. I still remember all those months spent trying to figure out what was wrong with me. People said it was all in my head, that I just wanted attention so I made up being sick. I remember people trying to brush it off as just an eating disorder (for the record, I have never once had any problems with my body image, if anything I wish I weighed more than 105lbs but I can't gain weight for the life of me...) Even today those accusations still haunt me. They make me doubt myself. I kept trying to tell myself the past few days that the pain was all in my head, that I was just crazy. I even told Reid that I was doubting whether or not I needed to go see a doctor or if I was in actual pain or if it was all in my head. He said I was the only person doubting whether or not I was in actual pain. He said he could see it etched in my face plain as day and that his parents could too. That helped a bit. I was worried his parents were thinking I was just making things up to get out of work (which I wasn't, I worked all day yesterday sobbing at my desk because the pain was just unreal).

  I guess it's my turn to be the medical mystery after everyone else has had their turn the past 6 months.

  Joy. I hope they can figure this out soon and I don't have to have a repeat of what happened in 2008. *sigh*

  • 4:26 pm
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