So, last night, I saw my father for the first time in about 2 years. This was not something I was planning on ever doing again for the rest of my life, but since I still reside in the same town as him, I suppose this was bound to happen.
Mom had warned me yesterday afternoon while Reid and I were furiously cleaning the house in order to have people over later that my dad and his crazy girlfriend were going to be going to see Mutemath that night as well. For a moment I considered just not going at all. But then again, it's one of my favourite bands of all time to see live, and I just can't let him control my life like that anymore. My entire life has been controlled by this monster of a human being. He's the reason I was forced into going to community college instead of being able to try to get into a university and just get school out of the way in one go. He's the reason I will probably never go on to get a BA (I'm going to be 23 by the time I even get my AA; the higher edumacation train done did pass for me).
Anyways, my father is one of the worst examples of the absolute depravity of humanity, period.
Reid and I were highly upset when we saw his mid-life crisis ass walk thru the door. He's grayed a lot more and got his ears pierced and is gauging them. It made me want to vomit. I didn't get a good look at his girlfriend, but just from behind she looked like a "lot lizard" that probably lived in a trailer.
I don't even know if he ever saw me. I highly doubt that if he did he would even recognize me (my mom started with: but you're his daughter! In his defense, until I told her we've already been through this when I went and visited his parents and he showed up and had absolutely no idea who I was until I went and said something. It was pretty awful.)
But despite it all, it was one of the best nights of the year. Hands down. I'm sure the 4 kamikazes helped but for the first time I was able to just let go. I probably looked like the most ridiculous human being on the planet doing my little snoopy dance to Chaos (just listen to it and tell me that it is not the most perfect snoopy dancing song. Ok. Maybe I'm just weird.)
I just can't seem to comprehend how happy Reid and I were last night. All the odds said we should have been miserable, and even left early to go home and fume. We were both willing to let $50 go down the drain just to avoid him. But we didn't. In the end we won. I bet the whole time he was trying to catch a glimpse of me, plotting some way he could try to communicate with me after I cut ties with him years ago. I bet all night all he could think of was me.
And you know what? After the music started, I never thought of him again for the rest of the night. We could have been standing side by side, and I would have cared for him just as much as I cared for the those people I really was standing beside, and obnoxiously drunk dancing on.
He seriously can go fuck himself.
And I will just snoopy dance on, without a care in the world.

Isn't it cute???

R: It's amazing how much I trashtalk to NPC's; I never do it any other time."

I love you very much, Serenity. I wish I could be with you right now. Everything will be ok <3 Firefly

This is what gets me through the days.
His arm wrapped around me is what gets me through the nights.

It's been an interesting few days. Lots of drama with work, and health issues. One thing I am looking forward to is my two days off this week to see Mute Math!!! Reid us tickets last month, and I've been so excited since!
Had to go to Patient First yesterday (after spending hours begging to be able to go, even though I was supposed to close. I just felt terrible, and was throwing up all day. Nevermind the fact that I took the manager's shift just the other day so he could go be with his girlfriend who just fainted. Yeah, I almost quit just so I could go get medical help. I was shaky, pale, and visibly disoriented. Fucking assholes.)
And I wasn't just paranoid or trying to get out of work, I've been struggling with some major symptoms for the past couple weeks that resurfaced 10x worse.
Turns out I was extremely hypokalemic (my potassium level was around 2.8; 3.5 is just around the lower end of normal.) and I was also so dehydrated they couldn't get a line started in my veins for an IV. I have to go back to get my levels checked again, and maybe even see a specialist to check my kidneys (I was born with kidney reflux, and I've had different issues because of it ever since). This isn't the first time I've had potassium trouble, I had a hard time keeping my levels up when I was younger.

Hopefully I won't lose my job this week over dipping out early to go to the doctor's.
For working in a male-dominated enviroment, it sure feels like I'm in an all girls middle school with all their drama and bitching and gossiping.
What is wrong with men?!?!?!

K:"Girl, I want to take you home and give you the same treatment I give my math homework."

M:"You mean, 'Slam you on desk and do you all night long'?"

K:"No. Ignore you and then lie about you to others."

R:"I have to question my parent's choice of purchasing an official Redskins cornhole set. I think there is something wrong with it; I can't get my beanbag across the 30yd line."

XD

Thanks to Irene, Reid and I get to stay home and enjoy the whole weekend together. We cleaned up the house last night (it's amazing how fast we can get things done when we work together. It would have taken me all week to do what we did in an hour). Reid has us stocked up on rum, whiskey, tequila, and plum wine, as well as Chef Boyardi and a Cars movie flashlight (there were no other flashlights left at Target). It's been so much fun getting to spend time together during stormy weather (rainy days are our favourite). We're going to play Star Wars Trivial Pursuit if/when the power goes out by candlelight (*swoons*)
I don't think that this could have turned out any better. The perfect beginning to a much dreaded week next week.

Now to finish reading Frankenstein for class next week...

Me: Where were you when the earthquake of '11 happened?
Reid: I was in the kitchen.
Me: With Dina?
Reid: She was under the counter.
Me: Strummin on the ol' banjo?
Reid: You could call it that.

My house is a wreck, but I'm too overwhelmed to do anything about it.
My car is a disaster, but I'm too ashamed to clean it.
My stomach is in knots, but I can't force myself to eat anything.

I just feel like I'm slowly fading away and will be buried underneath my mess. The state of my belongings is a clear and perfect indicator of my worsening depression. Everything is falling apart.

I just want this all to end now.