Since when did anyone think it would be appropriate to tell a 19 year old that she is punished with being barren because she didn't pray enough or go to church enough? And since when would anyone think that it's appropriate to tell her that if she gets married she will be committing sins because they would be having sex to just be having sex and not to procreate children (according to this person sex is a selfish act for both parties if you don't make a child in the end. and that intimacy is just creating children, and that any other sex session is pointless, selfish, and harmful to a relationship. Frankly, that person can suck my dick.)

Shame on those "christians" who quote the Bible in any context without first having read it in the original language God supposedly said it in. And what about all those other "God breathed" books were thrown out a thousand years ago during the Council of Rome (when the bible as we know it was canonized). Christians like these (which is the overwhelming majority) make me physically ill. If I were God I would smite all those who claimed to believe in me but acted that way towards people. God isn't weeping for the lost, he's weeping because his "children" are fucking insane and make him look even more terrible than he already does (excuse me, but the Old Testament is one bitchy God and where is he now? Jesus dies so God takes a back seat in everything? why aren't we getting more "god breathed" things? TImes have changed, so shouldn't god have changed and put things into context for the now?)

I don't want to talk religion. I hate it. I hate talking theology because I actually bothered to study it extensively, and most people I debate with just take things as is and have almost never taken the time to study, form their own opinions, or even put things into context of the time or how it would apply now. I'm strictly agnostic. I like a lot of things about Christianity, but I will never associate myself as a Christian.

I'm fucking mad, and I'm allowed to be. It's a shame that "God's followers" are some of the worst people in the world.

I see other people's worlds crashing down around them. A baby lost, a long-term relationship over, mental health deteriorating.
Am I supposed to be in mourning too? Am I supposed to feel their losses as well as be there for them? I feel guilty when R and I have a good time with each other when we get to see the other (which has been barely at all for 2 weeks. Today was the first day I woke up with him still in bed. It's been weird being alone.)

I know my happiness and the fact that my life is somewhat stable right now is not at the cost of other people's happiness.

But I just feel like I can't express how happy I really am, or even feel as happy as I should be when other's hearts are in so much pain. I still remember what it's like to feel the stab in the chest and the acid pouring through your veins. I can still feel the pain I had when I cried until the blood vessels in my face broke. I just can't be happy knowing someone else is hurting the way I have hurt.

I don't like this growing up thing. I don't think I ever will.

I love it.

Wedge has given his full approval.

It's awesomehat weather.

R all dressed up for work (his managers at the restaurant he works at gave the servers the go-ahead for wearing costumes today as long as they were in good taste, so no short shorts *sadness*). I made this shirt last night after we got home from the Celtic Festival. I just used some felt and old ribbons and buttons! He loves it. I can't tell you how happy it made me to see him happy with something I made (if that makes any sense at all!)
Well, I'm off to enjoy my last day of staycation before closing every night for the next week!

(I hope he comes home with a boombox and some fuzzy cuffs )

I don't want this day to end.
I don't want to go back to the daily grind. I love holding his hand all day long so very, very much.
It's been so nice to just sleep when we want to, go out and do what we want (and spend imaginary money since real money is tight now). Today we are going to the Celtic Festival with some of our dear friends, and afterwards will be dinner and Arkham Horror: Call of Cthlulhu.

I don't want this day to end.

Can we just be retired already???

That moment you realize you threw away 3 months of birth control last week when cleaning the house.

I hate it when there are customer issues at work.
Everyone tells me to just not care about it, but I can't help it. I like and care about my job, I can't help but feel like I've failed a little bit when a customer gets mad.

Even when i had every right to hang up. Providing good customer service does not mean that you can call me names and threaten me and curse at me. Customer service is not at my expense, sorry.

I just wish I wasn't so paranoid about getting fired over everything, when it's apparent that someone who doesn't know how to spell, count, follow instruction, is lazy, and can't do the job even partly right at all will get a higher position and get paid more than me.

Blah. That is all.

I hate the fact you seem so normal.

Why am I more bothered by the fact that I haven't spoken to you in 2 years, that my last words to you were, "Fuck you."

Why didn't that kill you?

It kills me. I hate that you don't seemed bothered by it.

I'd kill myself if my child ever did that to me, and meant it (like I did, and still do).

Why are you so normal?

Why can't I be normal too?