June 11, 2013
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Somedays, you wake up and you know everything is about to change.
That was my day yesterday. Sunday was great. So great in fact, that it triggered the events currently in motion.
I just can’t pretend that everything is okay anymore. I can’t keep telling myself that there isn’t a problem and just stay in denial for the rest of my life.
I woke up and realized how utterly miserable I really am. How I’m fucking sick and tired of being the one who works the most with the least amount of breaks. My partner doesn’t even come close to clocking in the hours I do. Even when he works doubles, he gets to come home in the afternoon for at least 2-3 hours. I don’t get to do that. Ever. I get to work my 9-10hr shifts straight through. I pay all the bills up front which means I have to make sure I have all the money upfront to pay them, and then he pays me back later… or sometimes never which has been the case quite a few times (but not a majority of the time… but it’s happened too much).
I just finally reached my breaking point. I went into his mom’s office and sat down in the chair across from her desk and just said, “I don’t know what to do about your son anymore.”
But talking to her didn’t make me feel much better. At one point she just shook her head and said, “You know, if you were dating anyone else but my son, I would tell you to walk. But you do what you need to, you won’t get any backlash from us.”
But then also added that she didn’t want him back either.
I guess that’s what worries me. My own mother-in-law is basically telling me to walk.
I just feel so angry and guilty. Angry because I deserve to be treated better and I know that now and guilty because no matter how much I love him, I can’t change him. And you can’t count on people to change at all anyways. People only change when they want to change themselves.
I don’t have a lot of hope that things will work out. I just have hope that things will fall apart more in my favor than not.
I just feel so sick and alone and scared.
And if I do leave him
I lose my job (even though they said they won’t fire me, I’m not going to be able to continue working here)
I lose the only “family” I ever really had. One that even knows how to spell my name right and all. My blood family hasn’t even been able to accomplish that. His parents have been more kind and supportive of me than my own parents have been my entire life.
I lose my house.
I’ll lose friendsI’ll lose my mind.
Comments (19)
Easier said then done, but you and Reid gotta talk. It won’t be easy, nor will it be without any tears or yelling, but that’s okay. You got a lot to let out. But to be fair, you both have to be honest with each other, and more importantly,yourselves. Lay everything out on the table. The good, the bad, the ugly. Believe me, I wish I had. I lost a very long relationship because of the lack of communication. Good luck.
@soltero_alma - We’ve been talking it out the past couple of days. I’m numb, he’s completely miserable. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I wish I had some sort of window into the future I could look through and see how this pans out. i hate it. I’ve hated every second of this. And that’s just why I can’t do it anymore, at least not in this way. Something has to give.
@thegunslingergirl - Don’t give up. Keep talking. Can you two see a relationship counselor?
@soltero_alma - I wish we had the money for that sort of thing. I don’t even have enough money to keep my therapy appointment this week.
Good luck. I recently had to this as well.
Just like the other commenter above, you guys just need to talk it out and sort things out. I don’t mean to parrot everything that’s already been said, but it just needs to continue being discussed until something actually changes (whether he actually needs to take hold of his financial obligations, or if you guys might need a trial separation). I only wish the best for you (the best is yet to be determined by you and Reid). *HUGS ALWAYS*
You don’t wanna know what I think . . . time to bail, the sun will still rise in the morning
I’d try to figure out a new job before I did, but that isn’t always possible, sometimes you just need to do what is best for you and ta ha’ell with eeryone else
@Angry_Infidel - I’ve got a standing job down in GA with my grandparents. His own mother suggested I move down there so I can go to school because college is super dirt cheap down there if you’re a resident, so I could work for a year and save and then finish my degree, finally.
Hmmmm, this is a real pickle you got yourself in sweetie (Dad’s fav phrase). Wow, now I am sounding like him more often.
I would say if talking isn’t helping, with Reid or his parents, then you really need to think about moving on. Of course then comes the real life issue of where to live, work, etc.,etc.
Do you have any friends that would be willing to help you out? It sounds like you have no relatives, on your side, that are helpful either, which really sucks. I can’t imagine that personally. Really sorry you see to have gotten the short end of the stick here.
Your reply to Angry infidel seems like a good plan. Quite possibly your only plan too. I hope you do ok. It’s not easy breaking up, but you’ll most likely be happier that you did down the road. The first few months, or more, will not be easy. Be strong sweetie. BIG HUGZ!!!
you can change people or make them change. However, you can motivate them to change. That’s where it takes skill (not hypnotism either)
is there any children involved?
@sf2slc - No, but a plethora of animals. Can’t even think that far ahead right now. At this point, I’m giving him a month before I make any sort of decisions. I will be gone for at least a week during this time and I’ve requested that while I’m gone, to not be contacted unless it is something pertinent (which there shouldnt be anything because I am taking our bills and stuff to pay them while i’m gone)
I am sorry you are going through this.
Hi there. I was browsing around and came across your page. So sorry you are going through a rough time. In all honesty, I feel just about the same way you do. I have been thinking so much lately, I don’t even know what to think anymore…
Good Luck For your Future i think you should talk to him on this matter or you can go with him for counseling it will resolve your problem so much
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@thegunslingergirl - i hope he respect your request and leave you alone. By being apart, that will help both of you (maybe more you) to think. How long have you been together? Don’t worry about the house, you can always get another one. Both of you work at the same place?
@sf2slc - I work for his parents. We’ve been together over 3 years. Living together for about 2 years now. I told him that I didn’t want to talk to him for that time because I want the opportunity to actually miss him, if that happens at all. If I get down there and can clear my head and straighten my thoughts it should be of some help and I’m hoping the short time away with the distance and not talking to each other will (for me) probably be the time when I determine what I need to do next. If I can give it another go or if we just need to walk down separate paths for a while.
You’ll still have us Meg.
I know we’re not much. And we’re not present. And I’m sorry that you have to go through all of this. You deserve the best, and if he isn’t that then you really do need to leave.
Read the comments. Okay. Georgia. And you’ll be there for a week. Okay. Well. Let me know if you need anything, okay? I’ve got some family who lives down there too and I’m sure they would be more than happy to help you. They’re a lovely bunch, just like you! Except you’re not a bunch. You’re a one.
@thegunslingergirl - Absence makes the heart grow fonder
OR out of sight, out of mind.
Beware of temptations when you’re in ATL.
You’re right that if you go on your own path, it’s strange to work for her parents. I hope you find peace, and clarity in ATL. (Avoid alcohol – won’t help you think straight or right, and can get you in all sort of trouble)