March 18, 2013
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And I don’t know why you think it’s worth it. I don’t know how you see any outcome other than more pain. More lost time. I’ve wasted so much of your time already. I’m just waiting for you to wake up out of your fugue and realize what you’re doing. What you’re asking. Who you are asking it of. I just let people down. I can’t change even to spite my own self. I’m afraid of what we’ll find. I’m afraid that I’ll get a label I can’t live with. I’m afraid that I’ll be merciful, and spare you all.
Or would it be just me?
Comments (8)
Jordan and I have conversations like that often, I also feel he is better off with out me. I get the same response back about how he wants to be with me. It is great that you have a boyfriend who understands and cares. It makes a huge difference.
It is great that he is willing to invest in a future with you.
Stop listening to your self worth complain about how its not good enough and let the people who care about you do just that. First and foremost, that’s what you need to do.
If someone else thinks you’re worth it. Then I’d take that as a good indicator that you ARE worth it.
People aren’t gonna just offer up money for therapy if they don’t think its going to help.
He loves you. Now you just have to accept the fact that you’re worth loving.
Aw. This brought tears to my eyes. He loves you, Sweetness. And you need to rest in that love. Accept it. YOU ARE WORTH LOVING!!!
We all have our issues…we all let others down…we are all fellow strugglers in this journey. So we must let others help us. We must help others.
You two against the world! It can work! It will work!
HUGS for you! and give him a HUG from me!
Wow, that was like a trip down memory lane for me. Not so much the conversation itself, but your side of the conversation. By the time I was 8 years old worth had been abused and neglected out of me. I can only tell you what helped me the most. When I started hanging out with guys through my church I found incredible healing. I started seeing that I really wasn’t so very different, and I could relate to them.
I’d stay in relationship, because relationship is so powerfully healing. When important people, in our childhood, deprived us of worth. If important people in our lives harmed out sense of worth, then other important people can give it back. It’s scary to step out there, but I’ve found it is worth it.
This is hitting home for me pretty hard right now, the only difference is that in my relationship, right now, there is no strong one. Take it, take it before it’s gone. Just don’t rely on this person to make you better, you are half of the relationship.