March 5, 2013

  • Disconnect Between Mind and Body

    I don't know about anyone else, but I seem to have this huge disconnect between my mind and body. What do I mean by this? Let me try to explain as best I can since this is something I am still trying to grasp, much less communicate.

    See, my "fight or flight" response is kinda screwed up. My flight responses will kick in hard core for absolutely no reason at all, whatsoever. I can just be sitting at my desk doing my usual thang when all of a sudden I feel the overwhelming urge to GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! PANIC! IT'S TIME TO PANIC!!!

    It's extremely irritating because it makes it impossible for me to focus on whatever I need to focus on. This has been a problem for as long as I can remember. I can remember being a kid waking up in the middle of the night feeling like this. Most of the time it happens when I'm drifting off to sleep. It used to be much worse when I was taking medication for sleep like Lunesta. One time I apparently called Reid in the middle of the night (before we moved in together) and told him he needed to get our hedgehog and himself out of the house and run for it, didn't matter where, he just needed to leave.

    Yeah.

    I *know* there is nothing to be afraid of. I *know* that everything is fine, and that my wellbeing is not currently being threatened. But my body doesn't know this. My body goes through the motions of a panic attack even when logically I know it's a waste of time and just plain silly.

    Sometimes though, there are little stupid things that trigger this response. The past few days have been excruciating because of this. There is a meeting tonight with our "poly-pod" (since it's not a triad or a quad considering there are 8 of us) and even though I know it's just going to be an evening of relaxed conversation and check-in's to make sure everyone is okay and we're all on the same page and happy and what our expectations are moving forward yadda yadda yadda, my body has been freaking out over it. This time because it was triggered by 4 little words, "We need to talk."
    Nothing will make me blanch faster than those words. They send me into full blown panic mode. Logically, I know that this isn't something to dread. Everyone else keeps going on about how much fun it will be and stuff but I'm completely miserable and I have no idea why other than the fact that we need to talk.

    I don't know what my subconscious is so afraid of to trigger these responses, either over nothing at all or something that is logically stupid.

    Anybody else ever feel this way? Like you have a major disconnect between your logical, thinking mind and your automatic physiological responses? If so, how do you deal with it?

Comments (7)

  • I'm the exact same way. I often get the urge to escape when I'm sitting at my computer. I will get up.. pace into the kitchen.. turn around.. sit back down.. and repeat until I feel better. I don't know why.. it just happens. I also get the urge to check the stove in the middle of the night. Even when I know for a fact that I haven't used the stove that day. I'm just terrified that the house is going to burn down and we will lose everything.

    This video really helped me feel less alone. LINK

  • i've had them ... classic panic attack stuff.

    i tend to be very in control of my life, and i don't generally get emotional about big things, so my response to stress isn't obvious.turns out if i've been dealing with a lot of little things or a few big things for a long time, i'll have either a sudden urge to flee, or my heart will feel like i'm having a heart attack. usually, there is no trigger, and often it's when i should be the most relaxed. the tight chest is a bit scary, because i do have a bad heart. 
    i really don't have a great answer. mostly, my knowing what it is, and naming the things that have my over-attention helps take the edge off ... but it doesn't stop them.
    best wishes for your success

  • This rarely happens to me and I am sorry that this does happen to you. My guess some underling concern is making you feel this way. The mind is a weird thing sometimes.  I rec in the hope some else can offer some input to you. 

  • I have that a lot as I'm falling asleep, too, and sometimes I'll wake up standing in the middle of the room, trying to figure out which way to go.
    I tend not to get flash panic when I'm awake, although I do get other emotions that way, and it's like Cares2theWind said -- it seems to be an accumulation of things.   Sometimes it seems like I've been upset for so long that when I finally settle down and things are going well for awhile, my subconscious gets nervous about it -- like the only possible explanation for me feeling good is that I'm not paying attention and it has to jump-start me again.

  • Yes, but right now I am feeling that disconnect. Send me a message either tonight or tomorrow after my group and I might be able to share more. Tomorrow would be better.

  • I think most people do, you aren't alone. I know it sucks, though

  • I have generalized anxiety disorder, so this is the story of my life. I think I have to remind myself that there are things I can control and things that I can't. I remind myself that by continuing to worry about them, I will only get worse. I distract myself by doing something I find fun, challenging, and requiring of concentration and attention. By doing this it causes me to stay focused on the present and keeps my thoughts and emotions realistic.

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