February 17, 2013

• Before I begin the excitement that will be the rest of today, I want to just take a moment to recognize someone important in my life.

  It's no secret that Reid and I are mad crazy for each other. The past 3 years with him have been anything but smooth sailing. The first week into our relationship, he came speeding to my house with a buck knife to chase off my biological father who was trying to beat down the front door of my mom's house to "make me sorry" (aka "beat the living shit out of me, again") for telling him to fuck off after he almost killed my dog. I have never and will never talk to him again after that. A few weeks after that incident, Reid had to take me to the hospital on my 21st birthday because I had pleurisy so bad I got to where I almost stopped breathing at my dinner.
  2 months into our relationship I left for Air Force BMT. I was gone from March 30th until June 9th. Reid wrote to me every single day. Sometimes more than once. When I was stuck in the medical discharge squadron, he would print off pages and pages of my favourite forums and websites and mail them to me so I would have something to read (mainly textsfromlastnight and somethingawful choose your own adventure threads).
  June 9th when I stepped off the plane around 11:45pm he was standing, toes on the tape that marked where people in the waiting lounge could not pass, with a bouquet of my favourite flowers in my favourite colours (which he actually pilfered from various gardens around his neighborhood). He was there with me for every ER trip I took that year because my migraines were so out of control I thought I was going to die.
  The fall after that he moved in with me when I got so severely depressed I couldn't even get out of bed. He made sure I was fed and did his best to keep me from laying down on the train tracks that were 50yds from our back door. Without him, I surely would have killed myself by now, no if's and's or but's about that. Reid is the only stable thing I've ever known in my entire life.

  This morning I woke up feeling awful. I had a stuffy nose all night and I was pretty sure I had a slight fever (but then again the house is freaking cold right now since we haven't run the heat in a good month or so). I knew he had a horrible night the night before and hardly slept. Neither one of us has slept much since my surgery. I rolled over and apologized to him for more than likely keeping him up all night and how I had been nothing but a dead weight (sometimes literally) and a bother all this past week. He didn't say anything, he just leaned over and kissed me and looked at me with his stormy blue eyes and said he loved me, no matter what.

  This man loves me. ME of all people. I can't even begin to wrap my head around the "why?????" But that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter why he loves me, what matters is that he does love me. There's not a lot of people who would not complain at having to pick me up off the couch (and toilet) every day this past week just so I could stand. There's not a lot of people who would go out of their way to make me as happy as possible, even if it means going across town to get my favourite soup. I've never had a boyfriend who could even stand for me to cry in their presence, but Reid is always there, with his arms wide open.

  Sure, we have our bad days. There's things I do that annoy the crap out of him that I wish I could change about myself. I wish for his sake I wasn't such trash but he doesn't complain about having a dumpster girlfriend. I thought love was aloof, I thought love was withholding. I thought love was bruises and black eyes. I thought love lasted until they found out you were damaged goods. I thought wrongly.

  If there is someone out there who is "the one" (a belief I don't subscribe to, personally) then I think I've found him in Reid. It's undeniable that we have a special connection. He's even said to me that sometimes he doesn't even feel like I'm a different person, but an extension of himself with awesome tits. I feel the same way, although his tits aren't as awesome.

  Anyways, I just really needed to rant about how undeserving I am of a man who is so kind, graceful, forgiving, loving, and awesome. Feel free to vomit now.

  • 10:54 am
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