November 4, 2012

• This weekend... unf. That's about all I have to say about that.

  It's nice to rediscover that I am in fact still in my early 20's as opposed to being 75 (which is how I've lived for the past 2 years). Friday night we went out to the club (a local, members only industrial/fetish club) we didn't get home til close to 3am. R and I didn't get to sleep til 7am, the party was just not stopping! We woke up around 3pm Saturday, ate hibachi chicken til we passed out and then woke up again at 7. Some friends of ours, who happen to be neighbors, have fallen on hard times recently, to the point where their gas was cut off so they can't cook or have warm showers. Sandy brought along with her a cold snap and we were worried about our friends and how cold it must be to have to take a wretched cold shower so we told them to please come over to our place and use our hot water, especially since they are literally just a few yards away from us (perfect for stumbling back home after going to one of their parties). We went back out to the club again last night. R and I switch up who DDs so Friday night was my turn to DD and last night was his turn. It was a lot of fun to be able to knock back a few drinks and just relax.
  This week hasn't all be awesomeness, there were a few rough bits, but they weren't all bad. I'm a firm believer in dealing with issues while they are still small. I don't like to bottle things up. I believe the biggest killer of an awesome relationship is a lack of "hard" communication. Talking about the not-so-fun stuff is important. It's important to check in with your mate and make sure everything is okay and not just assume it is. There were things brought up this week that made us both have to step back and take a deeper look at ourselves. It was never a fight. It was more like, "Here's a few things that you have done/are doing that bother me, here's specifics on the situation where this came up, here's how it comes across to me, etc. Let's sit on this for a few days and see how we feel later."
  Overall it was very effective. We both came back after a few days and agreed that we both had valid points and there are areas of character that both of us need to work on. We have a tendency to put each other on a pedestal, and it's not very fun when that perception is skewed in any way. It's hard work to be honest to yourself and to your mate, but it's definitely worth it. I don't want him to bottle things up to the point where when he finally says something, it's too little too late. It's not fair to either of us to be like that.
  That's what we are struggling with more than anything right now. To find a fair balance in our relationship, there's a lot of areas where he can (and does) do whatever he pleases and it's fine, but if I do what he does, it's not fine. That's not really fair. I know that we won't be 100% fair to each other all the time, that's part of being human. At least we recognize our shortcomings. I know I can be a anxiety ridden mess who can overreact to a situation and that I sometimes don't take correction well (no matter how nicely it's given). At least I recognize the fact that I'm not the easiest girlfriend to have sometimes. I know I require a lot of patience and work, but I recognize that and I try really hard not to be the world's worst girlfriend. I fail a lot. But R seems to have an endless fountain of patience.

  Tl;dr Relationships take hard work, but sometimes it's the hardest parts that are the most rewarding.

  Now I'm off to get pancakes and fantasize about my weekend

  • 1:35 pm
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