August 11, 2012
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Spoiled
I'm spoiled. I'm not afraid to say it. I'm spoiled rotten. I can't remember any other time in my life where I've been as well off as I am now. I may know when I'm being spoiled, but I definitely don't take it for granted.
Every time I turn down the A/C a little, I'm thankful I am able to do so. It wasn't long ago when I was living in an unconditioned house, and my car hasn't had a functional A/C since I bought it. I'm thankful I can come home and cool off. I have a retreat now, I have a safe haven.
This winter was a very mild one, but I can still remember the bitter cold of the past few winters. When R and I huddled together out of necessity than anything else. Ever since we've moved into the townhouse we never cuddle in bed, there's no need to anymore. We don't wake up seeing our own breaths anymore. The one heater we had we kept by River because she wouldn't survive without it. I remember what it was like to have no one to cuddle with, no running water, and no heat in the garage I used to stay in. I'm still grateful I even had that place to stay. It was such a refuge for me in a time when I needed one the most.
Still, now I have the option to be a little too cold, or a little too warm. I have food, that's one of the biggest things. When I enlisted I went through MEPs and weighed in at a whopping 97lbs. At 5'4" that's a little more than underweight. For a 21 year old it was embarrassing to be that little. I remember my mom skipping meals so my little sister and I would have something to eat. I remember not having enough money to go out and buy even a little bit of food. BMT was the first time in my life I can ever remember having 3 meals a day. Now if I skip a meal it's because I'm lazy. R and I even get to go out from time to time now, when our schedules allow. We're no longer living paycheck to paycheck, we actually even have a small savings set aside. I'm comfortable, happy, and most of all healthy. Can't say the same for R, it seems it's been his turn this year to get sick. Now that I'm working a job that pays more than minimum wage he has been able to go to the doctor and also take off the time he needs in order to get better. That's the best part. Being able to heal, both of us.
We've come a long way in just a couple of years, but we've already endured more than what most of my married friends have gone through.
I'm happy for the turn of fortune that has been given to me, and I'm happy that I actually am able to give back, to help out those in situations just like I was in.I'm okay with being spoiled (but who wouldn't be!), but I never want to take it for granted. I've worked hard for this, I'm going to enjoy it, and I'm going to give back.
What's the point of having more than you need if you don't share it?
Comments (8)
This reminds me of something I always tell my friends because I am utterly spoiled as well. "I may be spoiled rotten, but I'm not a brat. I know the meaning of gratitude, sharing and compassion."
Cheers to being spoiled!
well, that's good, but we'll have to hear about "this' forever. No offense. There were food stamps and if you live in many places, they throw bread on tables for you, or you can get free groceries. Sometimes, you don't get to live where you want to. Your mom was probably a good person, but she might have had issues. My parents sure did.
Now I have to list.
I also had a hard time getting food for about a month on my own, and then I got a job at a restaurant to solve my problem. I don't like to go hungry. You'd know this if you knew me. My parents tried to starve me, and they succeeded when I was little, but I figured it out. My mom used to hide food from me or she wouldn't let me eat dinner in High School because that was "their" food. I had to go to the library during lunch for two years because i had NO money. I just stole stuff from the basement. I also maintain weight a lot easier than most people due to prior starvation. I was like 85 pounds or less when I moved in with my mom, and she had to feed me then or I would have stopped growing like I had with my dad, but then that bitch did the same thing! I often ate with the neighbors.
And I had to ride my bicycle to school and my many jobs and it was uphill both ways. When it's hilly, it's like that.
Sometimes, you have to use your brain. Looks like you did. If I married anyone who could earn bread, it would be the end of the world. I usually have to get with someone who can't even do basic things. Now they'll destroy my brain to try the same thing and since my dad makes a lot of money now, people ALWAYS deserve my stuff.
I only lived with the man for 3 years, and he sent a 116 dollar paycheck when he makes THAT much.
I joined the military as well, but those greedy bastards were determined to get my paycheck. I don't touch them because I have to support my alcoholic mother, or I did until gave up because they will not stop trying to run my life. I always get the loser husband. In the end, they ended up, the military, having to me like 2800 a month in addition to the 600 disability I get. I also employ 6 people now. One's black, so I'm an EO employer unlike some people.
You have one of the best attitudes towards life. You've been through some shit and you're still pretty positive about things. It's been better that you're entirely greatful about it too. I remember those posts from when you were in that garage. I had just gotten out of that same situation just months before I had found your site, so I related instantly. Basically, you rock!
@clumsyandunaware - Exactly!
@Colorsofthenight - That sounds like a tough situation! Hang in there!
@Lithium98 - Aw thanks! You rock too, thanks for being so encouraging the last few years! People like you is what keeps me in a positive mindset that it will indeed get better. :]
@forever_musing - I DON"T CARE! I JUST WANTED TO STUDY!!!!!!!!!! I NEVER SAID ANYTHING UNTIL THEY MADE ME LIST. IT DOESN'T MATTER. IT'S FRUSTRATING BECAUSE IT'S PART OF THE STUPID EXCUSES THAT PEOPLE MAKE TO STAY ON THE GROUND. IF THEY DON'T FEED YOU, YOU DON'T WORK, AND YOU LAUGH AT THEM.
I love this post, on so many levels.
Also, thank you for your service.... even if it is just the Chair Force :p
So I'm guessing you were one of those people at BMT who were the first to sit down, last to get up, and got seconds all the time? good stuff.
But not good stuff because circumstances.But I'm so insanely happy that everything is going better for you now. You do deserve it. You deserve all the happiness.
@onestepcloserto_perfection - haha nope! I was usually one of the last ones in. I'm in an incredibly fast eater
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